Dirty Underbelly of the Expat Dating Scene Exposed

Everyone loves juicy (or trashy depending on your point of view) gossip, and that's why a blog like Perez Hilton is so popular. Well, the China expat community is now blessed with a gossipy blog telling almost humerous, but more often nightmarish tales of women trying to find good men amongst the expat community.

The one entry that hit home for me the most came from a reader submission:

Oh - and to the 50+ something geezer who physically hauled my friend (25 yr old law graduate) on to the dance floor at Alfa, against her continuing protestations, so that I actually had to push you away from her so she could go back to her table, at which time you smirked at me and said, "Oh, is that not allowed?": NOT ALL CHINESE GIRLS ARE PROSTITUTES, YOU PATHETIC LOSER!! Go back to the all-service massage parlour where at least the girls get paid to put up with you!

The gist of this story is something that I've unfortunately witnessed too many times. When friends from the US, or even other parts of China, visit Beijing, more often than not they will ask about a visit to Sanlitun. I try to lead them away from this mistake, suggesting the Shichahai area or even making the long (for me) trip out east to NvRen Jie or DaShanZi. Unfortunately, sometimes the name Sanlitun presents too much appeal for them, and despite warnings, makes a trip to this hotbed of vice necessary.

Ultimately, what happens when my girlfriend joins us or one of these friends happens to be Chinese is a night spent dealing with (typically) ugly, (typically) way too old, and (typically) way too stupid foreign guys. First, it begins with the looks. Then, god forbid the girl, for whatever reason, ends up finding herself without the guys in the group around her, the wolves approach. When that happens, even if the girl speaks fluent English, for whatever reason these idiotic disgraces to the male race will pretend they can't understand her. Even if it doesn't get to this point, it is still so frustrating to see how these guys look at these smart (grad students, lawyers, doctors, etc) Chinese women and just think that if they are in Sanlitun, they aren't there just to have fun and drink with friends, but are prostitutes. After my last visit, I swore to myself that I wouldn't visit the bar scene there again and so far I've upheld that.

And mentioning the massage parlour brings back all the stories I've heard from innocent blind massuers who end up with a drunken foreigner who for whatever reason believes that all massage parlours are "full service" and ends up inappropriately throwing himself at a blind girl.

To the women who write that site, the guys of Modern Lei Feng support you and your cause.